


Ahren and Joel Drabbles

by LeavingBonesExposed



Series: Completely Gay Band Oneshots [8]
Category: Bandom, Parkway Drive, The Amity Affliction, The Plot in You (Band), Tonight Alive
Genre: Anger, Birthdays, But he's Ahren's idiot, F/F, F/M, Implied Mpreg, Jenna and Winston bc of their new collab, Joel Birch can be an idiot at times, M/M, Mpreg, Partially AU, Showers, Swearing, Tumblr, cheetos, implied sex, like a lot, prompts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-29 08:06:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7676701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeavingBonesExposed/pseuds/LeavingBonesExposed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Title says it all. I got the drabble prompts from Tumblr and Facebook.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What is a Dad?

Based off [this](https://67.media.tumblr.com/8cbd6a1acdb89826fa99b30889ea8de1/tumblr_obakpd3ISi1v11slko1_400.jpg) image.

 

 

"Happy birthday!" Ahren cheers when Joel walks in the door from work.

"You remembered."

"Of course I did. I'm 16 and an online student. I don't have much else to remember other than for my username and password to login to my classes."

"True. So, speaking of school, how are your grades?"

"They're good, Mom."

"Ahren, I'm just trying to look out for you as both your best friend and boyfriend. I dropped out of school at 16 so I could get a job to support us when your mom died and my parents kicked me out."

"I know you are, and I love you." "I love you too."

"I got you something for your birthday with my extra tips."

"You did? Thank you."

"You're welcome. Here you go." Ahren replies, handing Joel a box and a card.

"Ahren, what the hell even is this card?"

"Just read it."

"What is a dad? You. You is a dad." Joel reads. "Ahren, are you pregnant?"

"Yes. I know I'm only 16 and you're only 18, but-"

"How long have you known?"

"About a month, but between your job, my job, and my online classes, I haven't had a chance to tell you. I saw this card at Walgreen's the other day, and knew it was the perfect way to tell you."

"I love you, and even if it means I have to pull extra shifts or maybe get a second job, we're having this baby. Everything's going to be alright."

"Look in the box."

"Holy shit, tickets to see Defeater!? You're the best!"

"I know they're your favorite band and all. They're playing at the club next door to my job, and I have a friend who works there. He sold me two tickets that he and his boyfriend couldn't use because his boyfriend had to work."

"I fucking love you!"


	2. Skittles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joel eats Ahren's Skittles. Ahren is not amused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's awfully short. Sorry in advance.

Based on [this](https://65.media.tumblr.com/0e2faa8e7be937616525b4bca4e41675/tumblr_obal5l8euc1v11slko1_400.jpg) picture sent to me on Facebook by one of my friends.

 

 

"Ahren, I'm sorry. Please talk to me." Ahren looks up at Joel and rolls his eyes. "Muffin? Sweet pea? The world's prettiest thug? Beautiful cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure?"

 

"Sorry doesn't bring back my fucking Skittles, Joel."

 

"Do you want me to go to the store and get you some Skittles?"

 

"It's your fault that mine are gone, so yeah."

 

"I didn't know they were yours!"

 

"Just go get the godforsaken Skittles, will you?"

 

"Yeah, yeah. I'm going."


	3. Where Are the Cheetos?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahren is taking a shower, and Joel and Miranda want to know if they're out of Cheetos.

Based on [this](https://65.media.tumblr.com/8a343436e8514c44c7e2f7e7bb4fc1eb/tumblr_obeh8sg7IG1v11slko1_400.jpg) image.

Oh, and [this](https://67.media.tumblr.com/c2cbfb6d73c72def209db6278efccf67/tumblr_ncxi7iPq2N1r733n6o1_500.jpg) is Miranda.

 

 

"Joel! Miranda!"

 

"Yeah, babe?"

 

"What, Mom!?"

 

"Where did all the towels go?"

 

"Laundry room or hall closet!"

 

"Thanks!" Ahren yells. Joel and Miranda sit in the living room, waiting for their turns in the shower. 

 

"Do we have any Cheetos left?"

 

"I don't know. I'll go ask your mom."

 

"Thanks." Joel nods and heads upstairs to the bathroom, where he pulls back the shower curtain.

 

"WHAT THE FUCK!?"

 

"Are we -stop screaming, it's just me- Are we out of Cheetos?"

 

"Yes! You, Winston, Jenna, and Miranda ate them all last night! Now get out!"

 

"What if I got in there with you?"

 

"The last time you did that, we almost had another kid. I don't think so. You remember what the doctor told us. It was a miracle giving birth to Miranda didn't kill me."

 

"There are ways to avoid getting pregnant, Ahren."

 

"Fine. Get in here, and don't even think for a second that I won't hesitate to toss you out the window if I get pregnant."


	4. Talk Dirty to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Joel and Ahren's anniversary, and Joel didn't do the laundry.

Based on [this](https://66.media.tumblr.com/fa988a5cc0f2b18b7e30eeb2820d28be/tumblr_obal7qTGtl1v11slko1_400.png) image.

 

 

"Ahren."

 

"What?"

 

"Talk dirty to me." Joel whispers in the younger man's ear.

 

"I'm not wearing any underwear because you never put the fucking laundry in the fucking dryer like I asked you to 100 fucking times."

 

"Or, is it because it's our anniversary?"

 

"No, I'm positive it's because you didn't do the fucking laundry. And you're not getting shit from me for our anniversary if you don't do the goddamn laundry right the hell now!"

 

Knowing that Ahren would withhold sex, as he's done it in the past, Joel jumps up and scurries off to the laundry room right away.


	5. The One in Which Joel Royally Fucks Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joel accuses Ahren of flirting with Landon Tewers on Twitter. Ahren leaves, and Miranda makes Joel see the light.

Based off of [this](https://65.media.tumblr.com/df296767053e14cc66636885d2e65b5d/tumblr_obal2ffFBx1v11slko1_400.png) and [this](https://66.media.tumblr.com/167823b7c7fc5e8e578d538853f27cfa/tumblr_obei4u6blX1v11slko1_400.jpg).

"Look, I saw you flirting with Landon on Twitter!"

 

"Jesus Christ! We've been married for eight fucking years! Do you honestly think I want Landon!?"

 

"I don't know! You tell me!"

 

"FUCK YOU!" Ahren screams, walking out of the house and slamming the door.

 

"Dad, you fucked up."

 

"I know, Miranda. But honestly, it was right there in my face. They were blatantly flirting."

 

"Mom and Landon? You have got to be fucking kidding me. They're practically brothers. Mom screwing Landon would practically be incest. Besides, Chris would murder Landon if he ever touched someone else."

 

"Shit." Joel groans, grabbing his keys. "Here's $20 for dinner. I don't know when I'll get home."

 

"I'm going over to Amanda's for the night, but thanks for the money."

 

"Why?"

 

"You and Mom are just going to fuck when you find him, and that is not something I want to hear. It's bad enough I had to hear him beg for you to fuck him when you were supposed to be asking about the Cheetos."

 

"Oh god." Joel mutters, his face heating up. "I'm going to text him to see where he is."

 

"You do that." Miranda replies, going upstairs.

 

'Babe.'

 

'Fellow associate.' Well, at least Ahren was still talking to Joel.

 

'Where are you?'

 

'Wherever the hell I am.'

 

'I'm coming to get you. Where are you?'

 

'Not saying. Leave me alone.'


End file.
